on. any reporter who calls him a serious thinker after looking at yesterday's budget he released ought to be fired immediately. a sick joke that nobody ought to take seriously. paul ryan's budget is the same he put forth the last two years in a row. hasn't he learned anything? he would destroy medicare and medicaid, give the wealthy yet another tax break, put most of the burden on the poor and middle class and repeal obama care. this budget is going nowhere. it will be dead on arrival in the senate. it is pure fiscal mastur va tion. yet paul ryan gets credit for being a serious thinker. i will tell you this if paul ryan is a serious thinker i am an astronaut. take a look at the budget. doesn't add up. tomorrow, congressman keith ellison and peter welch, oh, boy. can't wait for that. come back and join us right here tomorrow. >> this is "the bill press

show."

[ ♪ theme ♪ ] >> stephanie: happy wednesday everybody. jacki schechner, you know i have so few things in my life. look how happy i am about my new coffee mug. >> what does it say? >> stephanie: it is green in time for st. patrick's day. >> ooh. does that mean there's no pinch ug? >> stephanie: here now is colin farrell. >> messing about with mrs. all the rumors are true.

>> i got about a third of that. then again if he looks like colin farrell, it doesn't matter. >> stephanie: all right. now here we are. we're getting lucky. jacki, news clover leaf. >> good morning everybody. president obama's got a busy day today. after his morning briefing in the oval office, he's going to head up to the hill to meet with house republicans for the first time since june of 2011. the goal now is to find some sort of compromise deficit reduction deal before the summer. but president obama is expected in this meeting to bring up other items including gun control, raising the minimum wage and cyber security. when it comes to finding a deal on the deficit, the hill reports some senate democrats fear they will make too many concessions which is not an unreasonable concern considering the way he's negotiated in the past. >> president obama comes back to the white house this afternoon to meet with secretary of state john kerry then a group of

private sector ceos to talk about cyber security. afterwards, it is another meeting with business leaders this time to discuss immigration reform. a meeting with new treasury secretary jack lew and over to the st. regis hotel where he will give a speech to organizing for action. that's a nonprofit that emerged out of his re-election campaign. and today is the first full day of the papal conclave. black smoke rose from the chimney of the sistine chapel yesterday evening and again this morning indicating no 2/3 consensus yet from the 115 cardinals gathered inside. there will be four votes a day until one cardinal gets enough votes to win the papacy. we will see smoke again this afternoon. it comes from the burning of the ballots. wet straw used to be used to turn the ballots black but now they use a chemical instead. we're likely to see black smoke for awhile because again there is no front-runner as of yet. back with more show after the break. stay with us.

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>> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's "the stephanie miller show." ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ and it's time to feel good ♪ ♪ hey, all right now ♪ ♪ and it's time to feel good ♪ >> stephanie: six minutes after the hour. it is the "the stephanie miller show." hang on, i think i see white smoke. oh no, i'm sorry. that's coming from washington state and colorado where they -- pot joke. they legalized marijuana.

watching for the pope. >> i've got a bong that looks like the pope. >> stephanie: okay. that was a little impromptu skit. i just thought of it. that's why it was doughy. stephaniemiller.com. you can e-mail us all there. jim ward, chris lavoie. >> a lot of stuff. >> stephanie: it is awful. do you need me to hold you? >> well, we also have commercials we need to play. >> stephanie: okay. >> that pay you. >> stephanie: whatever. [ whatever! ] >> stephanie: hey everybody it's hump days with sexy liberal hal sparks. joe in sewer cues, steph and staff, some days you're panel. some days you're staff. some days you're mooks. i'm so happy to hear you talk about the "l.a. times" ran an article about who we should pay attention to when jon stewart takes the summer off. you rank number three in the article. we're number three. see how later our favorite

republican campaign funders show an interest in buying the "l.a. times." [ ♪ dramatic ♪ ] what? that calls for double drama. [ ♪ dramatic ♪ ] what? >> stephanie: okay. that's true. throwing out a little conspiracy theory. >> it is true. >> stephanie: the talker's list came out. talk show host in america. we're number 12. we're number 12. i'm number 12. >> weren't we number 36 before? >> stephanie: we're movin' on up. >> on the east side? >> stephanie: i'm the number 12 most important something in the -- i don't know. >> i want my full newspaper coverage. i want magazine stories. i want books. i want films. i want tv. i want radio. i want us on the air 24 hours a day! this is our moment! >> who did you beat? >> stephanie: howard stern beat me by one. he's 11. bastard person. [ buzzer ] >> well, if we had more naked

chicks. >> stephanie: like wednesday where we had hot brie and wonderwoman. >> did you beat laura ing gram? >> stephanie: i did. she's mad this morning. >> stephanie: yeah, who's mad. you don't even care. you go down who's lower. you're like oh, they will be -- this morning. >> damn it. >> stephanie: she said that once. i've been doing radio 25 years. >> right. >> stephanie: i stole her shtick. >> and i worked on your previous show before she started her show. i tune into the first day of her show. that sounds a lot like what we used to do on "the stephanie miller show." >> stephanie: couple of guy sidekicks. funny that. you guys can do the laura orgasm in honor of me being so many slots bo.

[ applause ] >> stephanie: like when you blow your diet, oh, screw it. >> just eat this whole bag of snickers. >> stephanie: we do have no information on whether or not laura ingraham likes her hair pulled during sex. we apologize if she does not. >> wouldn't surprise me. >> stephanie: please don't do it without asking her. >> right. >> stephanie: okay. you know, just go a little over the line. you know that kind of thing. with sexual horseplay and what not. there is a line where it is hot and then -- [ buzzer ] ouch. now you just pulled out a clump and you called me a whore. >> if horses are involved, you definitely cross adeline. >> yeah, that's -- >> stephanie: i didn't even actual horses when i said horseplay. >> in tijuana after all. [ speaking spanish ]

>> stephanie: all right. you know, it is right before vacation. i don't know where you all are going. i do not recommend the black sea. you know why? military dolphins there with guns attached to their freakin' heads and they've gone missin'. >> i have one simple request and that is to have sharks with freakin' laser beams attached to their heads. >> these are dolphins. >> how can you be armed if you don't have arms? >> stephanie: what's that, flipper? shoot me in the head? they know what they're doing. >> can they pull the trigger? >> mentally. >> stephanie: i don't know if it is in their blowhole or what. the ukraines, maybe notoriously accurate. hey, they have reportedly put out an apb for three dolphins that have gone missing in the black sea. what? >> they've gone rogue.

>> stephanie: three dolphins have gone rogue. dangerous. gawker writes did i mention these are military dolphins who may have firearms and knives strapped to their bodies? >> knives? >> can you shoot a gun underwater? >> stephanie: i don't know. experts believe the three bulls had fallen under the spell of nearby females. chicks are to blame. and were driven away by the training grounds by their biological urges. notoriously horny. i've known surfers who say they're very rapey dolphins. they get a little freaky with surfers and stuff and divers. >> lady on the street and a freak in the bed. >> stephanie: the dolphin scientist guy, the way he's identified by gawker. greg. >> dolphin scientist guy? >> stephanie: he's a dolphin scientist. if you're planning a family holiday to the black sea, it is best you avoid any friendly dolphins especially if they have knives or pistols strapped to their heads.

>> how do you strap a pistol to a dolphin's head? >> very carefully. [ ♪ circus ♪ ] >> stephanie: all right. all right. we'll talk to the rockin' congresswoman from the great state of illinois, representative jan schakowsky. i don't know about you but i can't stand this sequestration. i really can't. ♪ ♪ i'm sick of the sequestration ♪ ♪ it's given me some frustrations ♪ ♪ i'm sick of the sequestration ♪ ♪ i'm sick of the

sequestration ♪ >> that is as elaborate as the original recording. >> stephanie: rocky mountain mike. he's the only one doing real work for this show which is ironic because we pay him nothing. >> as long as he dishoo end up how brian ended up. brian went crazy. >> stephanie: i understand. okay. >> did i tell you i met him? he did my country morning radio show and he -- he was a little out of it. we were talking to him and then during a commercial break, he looked at his manager and said are we really here? is this really happening? >> oh. [ wah wah ] >> it was amazing to meet him but wow yeah.

>> stephanie: a lot of producers whispering under their breath. talk quietly to brian. >> don't make any sudden moves. >> stephanie: might be a dolphin with a pistol strapped to its head. he's not sure what's happening. it is mostly old time radio story. i talked to brother this morning. i'm the former sister sleaze from rochester new york. home of rock n' roll. they ain't related. you know why he called? because he has mercury poisoning i said i'm a lesbian. he said we eat the same thing. so it was a whole -- >> oh, you little -- >> stephanie: we worked together for many years. it was a little impromptu bit. i did have -- and so i was going to give advice. i had so much mercury up my ass i could take my own temperature.

you remember. >> you were sluggish. [ ♪ circus ♪ ] >> stephanie: difference between being drunk and that. >> you were like jeremy piven sluggish. >> stephanie: i had to drop out of my broadway play. apparently didn't go for booze or dope or mercury on broadway. i couldn't even remember what to tell him. i had to stop eating fish for awhile. a few weeks. then i had chelation therapy. >> you were in new york when this happened, weren't you? >> stephanie: no. everything else bad that happened to me was in new york. that was the only bad thing that happened here. >> all right. >> stephanie: broken foot, all of that stuff. new york chewed me up, spit me out. >> you broke your foot just before you came back here. >> stephanie: new york rejected me like a bad organ. >> almost took your eye out. >> stephanie: we started calling it a move. then we called it a trip. >> then we called it the death

march. >> stephanie: one of the many disasters, mistakes in your life. we have sexy liberal hal sparks live in studio who will be with me april 13th, chicago theatre, tickets going quickly for that. it is upon us, kids. the april 13th sexy liberal. much more as we continue on "the stephanie miller show." >> to be honest, i've never seen such dysfunction. >> announcer: it's "the stephanie miller show."

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(vo) she gets the comedians laughing and the thinkers thinking. >>ok, so there's wiggle room in the ten commandments, that's what you're saying. (vo) she's joy behar. >>current will let me say anything. ♪ i shot the sheriff ♪ ♪ but i did not shoot ♪ >> announcer: stephanie miller.

♪ i shot the sheriff ♪ ♪ but i didn't shoot ♪ >> announcer: stephanie miller. >> stephanie: it is "the stephanie miller show." a fabulous jacki's healthcare corner at the top of the hour and representative jan schakowsky two rockin' women in one hour. >> then we have a rockin' dude in hour three. >> stephanie: sexy liberal hal sparks right there. >> literally a rockin' dude. >> stephanie: zero one. i once called his band zero dark thirty. [ buzzer ] he was not -- he is not in a terrorist band of any kind. >> i got an immediate text from him when you said that. >> no one was waterboarded during the show. >> stephanie: he can say everything i say even when i'm not on the air. i don't know how. lee in las vegas you're on "the stephanie miller show." hey, lee. >> caller: hi, steph. i really enjoy your show. i would just like to talk about this sequestration weeddy

munster -- weeddy munster. this is a joke, steph! why don't the republicans each day spend a couple of minutes saying the only thing the republicans want to do is do away with the big three and point it out on a daily basis and they don't want to come halfway. and just keep doing it and doing it and doing it. 65-year-old people who vote for the republicans, you let them know. >> stephanie: i know. >> take away the big three. >> stephanie: that's exactly right, lee. it is a joke. it is a complete joke. the budget, it is just laughable. you shouldn't even take this seriously. the fact that they just lost the election running on these same ideas. literally -- >> it is serious. >> isn't that wonderful eddie? >> i won't go, i won't i won't

i won't! >> yes you will. >> stephanie: how about a cootie catcher? no. >> that's the same thing you lost on! >> stephanie: nancy pelosi blasted his budget arguing a budget protects the wealthiest at the expense of the middle class is based on fuzzy republican math. >> what's your point? they're the job creators. >> stephanie: nothing but more of the same pelosi says it protects the wealthiest at the expense of the middle class so it is still undermining the health and economic security of the elderly and ends the medicare guarantee and just costs to seniors. >> stephanie: i'm not nancy pelosi. please don't attack me. pelosi attacked ryan for savings in obamacare. it is an exercise in contradictions. republicans repealed the affordable care act. it really is. >> i'll hit you with my widow's peak. >> stephanie: i hope somebody plays the clips back from the campaign when they interview

him. you just said this. no, i didn't. >> that wasn't me. >> stephanie: nancy pelosi yesterday by the way speaking of the budget munster. >> the point of it is to take trophies, that doesn't save money. it is a trophy. but it is not a solution. >> i want to clear her throat for her. >> stephanie: i want to send her a therabreath lozenge compliments of stephanie miller. what was i going to say? paul krugman wrote a piece about that. saying that exact same thing. that's all they're doing. >> the bankrupt paul krugman? >> stephanie: did you get that newsbusters? >> ooh he's bankrupt. i knew it! >> stephanie: that was a satire headline. dummies. breitbart. what was i saying? that is. that's it. that is this whole plan. they want to destroy social security and medicare. >> you want to save it by destroying it. >> stephanie: kordell in

north carolina. >> caller: hey, guys this is the screenwriter for "the stephanie miller show." i've been so very busy. i had to call in when i found out what they're thinking about doing from social security and medicare. if i get a little emotional i do apologize because you know, with without social security and medicare, i don't know if i would even be here right now. it has saved me for the last decade. >> stephanie: yeah. >> caller: i rely on it to get by, to help pay expenses, to help take care of my health and the fact that they want to make changes. >> stephanie: a lot of people are calling in that are emotional about this and they should be. we can't say it enough. it is repetitive but the fact that they're not entitlements. we're entitled to them because we paid into them, it is -- it's been our bargain or our deal with the government for how many many years right? >> caller: exactly. you know, i'm getting sick of these millionaire lawmakers who

have no idea what we have to go through on a daily basis, the pain that we suffer just -- trying to make it from day to day where you know, they're comfortable. they have these insane health benefits and they're going to want to take what little we have. that's just not fair to us. >> stephanie: i hear you honey. hang in there. the president talking about the budget. >> obama: my goal is not to chase a balanced budget just for the sake of balance. my goal is how do we grow the economy, put people back to work and if we do that, we'll be bringing in more revenue if we've controlled spending and we've got a smart entitlement package, then potentially what you have is balance but it is not balance on the backs of the poor the elderly students who need student loans families who have got disabled kids. that's not the right way to balance our budget. >> stay away from entitlement

reform because it is a fraud. >> stephanie: yeah. [ ♪ "jeopardy" theme ♪ ] >> stephanie: jim, guess what's good about paul ryan's budget? >> nothing. >> stephanie: guess what's bad about paul ryan's budget? everything. >> wow! you got two in a row right! >> unusual. >> stephanie: i did that with a sledgehammer. would you like the fun facts that think progress brings us the five worst things. i'm not going to go into the details. number one huge tax cuts to the rich and corporations. there is a shock. number two forces seniors to pay more for healthcare. number three cuts food stamps. >> that sounds crap tastic. >> it is. >> premium support. >> it has a fancy title so it's good. >> stephanie: all right, eddie. >> we believe we owe the american people a balanced budget. for the third straight year, we've delivered. in fact, we balanced this budget in just ten years. this is a document --

>> stephanie: how did you do that? >> balance the budget in ten years. >> stephanie: how did you do that? [ ♪ "jeopardy" theme ♪ ] on the medicare savings you ran against that are in there and then also presupposes repealing obamacare which even chris wallace says is a bunch of bull. tax increases that you voted against. that's the other -- [ applause ] >> stephanie: wowee. >> we balanced a budget in my mind. >> stephanie: it really is that -- he takes half of the things the president did. i went like this with my hands. medicare and healthcare and then a guy did this. see what did i? look what i did. real good what you did. >> good what you did eddie. >> stephanie: 29 minutes after the hour. right-wing world next on "the stephanie miller show."

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>> look at me. stepping out on the town with a big celebrity. >> i think you're exaggerating. >> no. you're a lady big shot like -- >> stephanie miller. >> stephanie: me lady big shot. bigger than dana loesch anyway. i'm sorry. it is little inside baseball but it is the morning when you top the list of the top 100 most important talk show hosts in america come out. i'm number 12 and dana loesch is what? >> 83. [dana loesch squealing]

>> stephanie: all right. only reason -- we just -- look to see who's lower. >> i was looking at the list. they'll give anybody a talk show. >> herman cain is on that list. >> stephanie: have you ever done radio? no. here is a show. call it the herp derp show. stephanie in illinois, you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi steph. >> caller: hi. i haven't talked to you guys in awhile. i'm in corn country. >> stephanie: go ahead. no one is -- between 70% and 80% of this country. if you have 1500 or less, most people make minimum wage. and then we're losing -- down here we have something that covers the whole county. we're going to lose that if they

don't get funding doing this sequestration. plus most of the high schools -- you've got kids driving. they have to take school buses that live 20 miles from the high schools and the problem is with them cutting the funding the schools are shutting down the programs just to pay for busing to get the kids to school and everything else has to go. the only money coming in is for the corporate farmers. no one is getting money. >> stephanie: steph, that's a great point. scott in texas you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi scott. >> caller: good morning, mama. >> stephanie: hello. >> caller: hi, mooks. steph, thank you for your show. and on the budget, i got an idea. actually, i stole this from randi rhodes. transaction fee on each stop market transaction to create billions. nobody would be affected. it would help reduce the deficit. help pay down the debt. one last request -- we have a

big progressive base here. >> stephanie: i will put that on my list of things to do. thank you, scott. 36 after. i couldn't hear the whole plan but there you go. let's dive into the right-wing world and see what's doing. [ ♪ circus ♪ ] >> stephanie: mark levin. what number did he come in? >> i didn't see him on the list. herman cain beat him. >> they pull off the effects of the massively expanded medicaid program but they expand the definition of poor to more and more people on the government bowl. and this is why when you're republican governors like krispy kreme signing on to this, it is going to be financially ruinous for your states. absolutely financially ruinous. they'll be gone. >> i'm a conservative. when do i get to speak at cpac? >> have a doughnut and shut up. >> stephanie: wow. that was mark levin making fun

of someone else's looks. well, that was just spectacular. referring to governor chris christie as governor krispy kreme. >> mark levin is not exactly kate moss. >> stephanie: i think he sits at home stroking sean hannity's books. precious. my precious. i love that chiseled chin. >> eww stop. that's an elf isn't it? >> stephanie: sean hannity is precious. precious. >> oh, you really sold the movie to me now! >> stephanie: that was weird. okay. brian kilmeade on fox and friends. >> paul ryan saying his idea in his budget is to eliminate obamacare, that's not practical. even though you might want it, the supreme court has spoken. that's never going to fly. >> because he heard chris

wallace say that. >> stephanie: the smart guy on sunday says this. >> so i will say it, too. >> stephanie: people are saying i'm dumb and i'm startled by the sun coming up. >> the one guy is an actual journalist on fox. >> shepherd smith. >> stephanie: i'm surprised he's still on. >> very good coverage of 9-11. they were at the pentagon before the wall collapsed. >> stephanie: wow. laura ingraham or as we call her, number 17. [ laughter ] >> stop it! >> the public is still against what obama care is doing to the healthcare system. i think paul ryan sees that even in some democrat states, they're seeing what's going to happen in a state like massachusetts. i think ryan thinks he has some philosophical space to move in there. and again a lot of reasons why he's putting that in there. >> stephanie: i see. even though the american people -- she's wrong. the american people voted for

it. >> what paul ryan? >> what bubble does she live in? >> stephanie: why didn't he just put in farting unicorns? glittered farting unicorns. that ain't gonna happen either. >> or glitter farting rafalca. >> rafalca is no longer with us. >> stephanie: "the stephanie miller show" does not have any information on the whereabouts of rafalca. >> maybe they're passing her off as calamari. >> stephanie: campaign prop. glue now. what? >> it lost as badly as mitt romney did. >> worse. >> stephanie: breaking news while i'm eating in the morning. >> a lot of people are eating. >> we probably shouldn't do this. >> stephanie: don't have the calamari. >> trust whatever they tell you it is, it is actually what they're representing it as because you really don't want to know. you really don't want to know what they sometimes substitute for calamari.

>> stephanie: you don't feel like we should say now because somebody spit out a mouthful of calamari. >> eating then cover your ears for a second. >> often times it is actually -- drumroll, please -- we don't have that. piganous. pig anus. [ buzzer ] >> stephanie: the thing you did is gross. calamari is a little more open. piganus is more open. it is hard to get the taste out -- you have to wash it in lye. >> stephanie: you're turning me into a character on south park. >> is it stan? >> barfed every time he saw a pretty girl? >> stephanie: that's me, too. >> how did we get sidetracked into that? >> stephanie: that's hard to get out of your head once someone brings that up. >> we were talking about the -- what happened to rafalca.

>> stephanie: now i'm thinking about pig sphincter. you said closed. was it really nervous when it died? >> well, yeah. >> stephanie: okay. >> someone in the chat room said that is really not kosher. [ laughter ] >> literally. >> wow. >> stephanie: and back to the show. jim demint, heritage foundation president. american family radio. >> what they understand on the liberal side is that the failures of their policies actually have empowered them to actually advance their policies. crisis allows the president to reconfigure our whole economic and cultural system to redistribute the wealth the way -- secular socialistic view versus what i see a faith in freedom view.

polar opposites. so folks wonder why we can't compromise. when one person's gone in a completely opposite direction it's hard to work with them. >> stephanie: when you're anti-faith and freedom as the president is. >> sure. >> the economic crisis started under george w. bush nimrod! >> when jim demint was in the senate. so thank you jim. >> stephanie: how are all of the demints doing that got elected? >> now with receipt sin. >> stephanie: megan kelly and chris. >> he's fox news online's pollster. >> stephanie: okay. >> 48% of voters have a favorable impression of him. 48% have unfavorable. it is tied up. that's unusual for this president. >> well, the stimulus scare owe lempics didn't do much for the public and when they had to say never mind, this stuff wasn't

real. it was something that we were talking about that could be true. i think that that probably accounts for a lot of frustration for people who have generally seen him as an honest guy. maybe they don't agree with everything but they've thought of him as an honest guy. >> what's frustrating is that he's caving to the republicans again. >> stephanie: he's not doing anything yet! >> offering up entitlement reform i think it is just wrong. >> what's with the use of the term scare-olympics. >> stephanie: did he put a hashtag in front of it? >> what i've seen in the last four years is someone who has a disdain, i believe for jewish people. references to rich people, the constant -- we gotta pay our fair share. it is like they're talking about rep arations. it does need one to thing. we should be allowed to talk about it too. white people should be able to

raise these issues like black people raised them over the years in terms of racism. i believe that this guy has a ting of racism toward whites and i believe -- >> even though he's half white. >> he wants to pay rep aerations. i don't think he likes people with faith. >> stephanie: wait a minute. isn't he the one that just used the jewish stereotype? he's talking about the rich? [ buzzer ] that was like -- that was like road flare mary. >> stephanie: wait a minute! [ scooby-doo's "huh?" ] >> stephanie: wow. all right. that was a spectacular right-wing world. [ applause ] >> stephanie: all right. oh, i told jim -- i was telling jim off the air that the phone message he left me about road flare mary which is not for air -- >> no, no, no, no! >> stephanie: melissa fitzgerald and i were in the car together and we were laughing so hard we almost peed ourselves.

i couldn't even send it to you to bleep it. >> all right. okay. >> stephanie: it would have been one long -- bleep bleep bleep, bleep. >> you erased it. >> stephanie: i didn't mean to. i'm a technophobe. anyway. it is lost. >> just hang up. >> stephanie: all right. 46 minutes after the hour. >> delete, hangup, same thing right? >> stephanie: oops. i still don't know how to hold the call and take the other call. >> there is a button that says -- >> stephanie: see. >> there is a button that says -- it couldn't be more clear. seriously! >> stephanie: 46 minutes after the hour. right back on "the stephanie miller show." >> it is a happening spot. >> announcer: it's "the stephanie miller show." this show is about analyzing criticizing, and holding policy to the fire. are you encouraged by what you

heard the president say the other night? is this personal or is it political? a lot of my work happens by doing the things that i am given to doing anyway. staying in tough with everything that is going on politically and putting my own nuance on it. not only does senator rubio just care about rich people but somehow he thinks raising the minimum wage is a bad idea for the middle class. but we do care about them, right? tonight at 6 eastern [ male announcer ] here's a word you should keep in mind. unbiased. some brokerage firms are. but way too many aren't. why? because selling their funds makes them more money. which makes you wonder -- isn't that a conflict? search "proprietary mutual funds." yikes! then go to e-trade. we've got over 8,000 mutual funds, and not one of them has our name on it. we're in the business of finding the right investments for you. e-trade. less for us. more for you. the fund's prospectus contains its investment objectives, risks, charges, expenses and other important information and should be read and considered carefully before investing. for a current prospectus visit etrade.com/mutualfunds.

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i think the number one thing that viewers like about the young turks is that we're honest. they can question whether i'm right, but i think that the audience gets that this guy, to the best of his ability, is trying to look out for us.

>> announcer: stephanie miller. ♪ didn't start the fire, it was always burning since the world's been turning ♪ >> stephanie miller. ♪ didn't start the fire ♪ >> stephanie: this hour brought to you by -- gotomypc.com. access your entire work computer from your smart phone or tablet with the go to my pc mobile apps. try it free for 45 days. visit gotomypc.com and click on the try it free button and type in the promo code, stephanie. what? >> what. i don't know. >> stephanie: i told you i didn't --

>> that's the second time you said that. >> stephanie: i didn't set the fire. i didn't do it. >> i'm the fire starter. >> stephanie: we all have that blame mechanism as kids. >> i got blamed for a lot when i was a kid. that and the lincoln logs. >> my excuse was the wind did it. the wind. >> stephanie: hmm. >> stephanie: you were an odd child. >> didn't get away with it. >> stephanie: 1-800-steph-12 the phone number. let's go to deb in california. hi deb. >> caller: hey there love dolls. >> stephanie: hello. >> caller: hope everybody is doing real well today. >> stephanie: thank you. >> caller: the reason i'm calling today is to please -- i finally figured out what the third amendment is. and i know everybody's probably way ahead of me. we've made fun of everybody's all up in the first amendment and second amendment. in portland, oregon, there were these two dudes armed to the

hilt walking up and down the streets in residential neighborhoods when the people called the police because they thought their school was being shot up, the police talked to these men and they said oh, we're educating the public. on our second amendment rights. well, what the third amendment -- >> stephanie: little performance art. >> it was kind of crazy to me. i thought oh, my god. we're always joking about the third amendment being redcoats in our basement. really what the third amendment is we don't have to put up with people like that running up and down the street, armed to the hilt, coming into the starbucks for example in danville, california. oh, we can -- we don't have to conceal. we're just going to walk in and be armed right up in there. well, that's what the third amendment is. i'm so silly. at the age of 54, i was 54 yesterday -- >> stephanie: happy birthday. >> caller: i watched yesterday live. that's how i started my day.

it was the most perfect birthday. thank you. >> stephanie: you're welcome honey. you're welcome. >> stephanie: what was the number i saw yesterday? 92% of americans for background checks. it is stunning. i think -- it was rachel talking about nothing has that approval rating. no issue has that high of an approval rating. patricia in maryland, you're on "the stephanie miller show." >> caller: hi. i've got a comment. everybody keeps saying that he doesn't need to do anything with social security and medicare and stuff but he does because medicare is ridiculous. when you work every day, like a regular job, you have one insurance. when you retire at 65, you had to get medicare part b. if you make $1,000, anywhere from $0 to $85,000, you have to pay $104 a month for medicare part b. and i don't think that's fair to a person who doesn't make

$85,000. >> stephanie: i hear ya. actually, we're talking to jacki about some of the stuff at the top of the hour for healthcare corner. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] by the way, i'm loving me some "daily beast," right? >> they're awesome. >> stephanie: it is my new thing, baby. michael tomasky. >> is he your new man? >> stephanie: he's my new man. handsome and romantic. just what you guys have been talking about. how obama should respond to ryan because paul ryan is a ridiculous. b, his budget is more douche tastic than his last two. >> stephanie: and crap tastic in addition. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] paul ryan's views are brutal. he assumes it reverses his position from last year on $1676 billion medicare savings. it doesn't pass the laugh test. even so something tells me when

the plan is released, the serious people will applaud the president and that makes this week probably the most important week in his presidency for obama to refuse to do that. this is what i was saying. how many times can paul krugman scream it? the deficit is going down. it is not the problem. if we -- if we do austerity now we are going to end up like greece. >> the economy is getting better. therefore, more tax money will come into the coffers and improve things. >> stephanie: guess what improves the deficit when the economy improves. >> stephanie: michael writes what you really saw was not to egg washington toward deficit hawkry but to cuts he doesn't like. social security, medicaid, medicare. keep the air clean and perform the bothersome functions. that's ryan's game. that's his whole game. and he says michael writes jobs are still our biggest problem as

paul krugman documented, deaths are decreasing quite rapidly. it is tumbling down. the one thing that will make it tumble down further is putting more people to work, spurring more economictivity. the february jobs numbers were great but a 7.7% employment rate is too high. by wednesday afternoon ryan will upset their hearts aflutter and pressure will mount to develop a ten-year plan of his own. that's the one thing -- [ ♪ battle hymn of republic ♪ ] i like this guy. that's the one thing he must not do under any circumstances. acknowledge the deficit is a problem. obama needs to take steps toward bringing it down more but also whiling i will not hop on the deficit hysteria bandwagon. i believe the most important order of business is for me to create more jobs, first for the obvious reason we want more people working. second stronger economy will lower the deficit more quickly and reliably than anything else. why is no one saying that? yes, i want to get the deficit under control.

i'm the president. no combination of people is going to bully me into accepting their agenda or timetabling. obama can't spend the last three years playing ball on paul ryan's home field. >> stephanie: especially a little dork with a turned around baseball cap. he doesn't wear his cap right. >> and lifting a 700 pound weight interest curves. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: my advice to people is to go to the g.o.p. and implore them to play ball because they're not. obama can't spend the last three years of his presidency playing ball on paul ryan's home field. this is a week to draw his line in the sand and tell the establishment who's in charge. not who's who. who's who and what's what. >> it happened in fdr. he listened to the deficit hawks and almost undermined the whole deal. >> stephanie: jacki's healthcare corner next on "the stephanie miller show."

[ ♪ theme ♪ ] >> stephanie: oh my god it's almost time for jacki's healthcare corner. i'm really nervous. irma gird. how about you, nurse jacki? it is very, very important stuff because the healthcare laws, stuff is starting to happen and people have lot of questions. there was a great piece in the l.a. times about it. also, i wanted to talk to you about a south carolina legislator who forgot to use his inside voice. he said it's good politics to oppose the black guy in the white house right now especially for the republican party. [ buzzer ] >> he did not! >> stephanie: you're not supposed to say that.

>> you're supposed to think that. >> not good. not even good to think it. >> no, it's not. >> stephanie: that guy is a doctor. we'll talk about that. oh, dear. >> stephanie: that's late for you, jim. a hitler reverance. jacki schechner first in her news hat and then with us. >> good morning, everybody. i'm not inclined to promote other networks or shows but we are going to get our first look at and be able to hear from the person who recorded mitt romney's 47% remarks tonight. we do know from an early "huffington post" teaser is the man is a bartender who worked for a company that served high-end clientele. he decided to bring his camera to the romney event because of a previous encounter with president bill clinton. the bartender had worked at a fund-raiser once before where clinton gave a speech. afterwards, he came back to the kitchen to thank the staff and the service crew and shake hands and take pictures. the bartender thought romney

might do the same. well, instead, romney was late coming in and rushed right out and there was no opportunity. he didn't thank anyone. he told the guests the event was off the record but he didn't say anything to the servers. that's when the bartender put the camera on the bar and hit record. he felt it was his civic duty to publicize mitt romney's remarks once he heard what the man had to say. that bartender is on twitter already at anonymous 670. he gives his first interview tonight with ed schultz. >> the boy scout of america is serving its members to find out how they feel about the anti-gay policy. it sent out a questionnaire to 1.1 million adult scouts with made up scenarios would it be okay for an openly gay scout to tent with a straight scout. the national council will vote in may whether to amend or rescind the organization's ban on gay scouts and leaders. we're back with more show after the break.

i'll call in and do healthcare corner for you. see you on the other side. (vo) with award winning documentaries that take you inside the headlines, way inside. (vo) from the underworld, to the world of privilege. >> everyone in michael jackson's life was out to use him. (vo) no one brings you more documentaries that are real, gripping, current.

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>> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's the "the stephanie miller show." ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ and it's time to feel good ♪ ♪ hey all right now ♪ ♪ and it's time to feel good ♪ >> stephanie: welcome to "the stephanie miller show." this hour brought to you by therabreath mouthwash and toothpaste. nothing works faster, lasts longer at knocking out bad breath. therabreath mouthwash and toothpaste available at target, walgreens and walmart. i love it. i used my toothpaste this morning. it is clear. it is not too sweet.

>> and you're talking in that voice why? >> stephanie: i don't know. because my breath is to fresh that's why. [ ♪ magic wand ♪ ] stephaniemiller.com the web site. sexyliberal.com. sexy liberal hal sparks there for hour number three. tickets going fast. let's do a corner. let's do it. ♪ come on, get jacki ♪ >> stephanie: good morning jacki schechner. >> good morning. >> stephanie: i actually -- we were making fun of mark levin saying he's like golam. we think that he strokes sean hannity's books. i was pointing out your delightful bone structure which makes you so beautiful on tv. >> aren't you a sweetie. >> stephanie: look at my precious and how her bone structure is.

creepy. i was touching you. >> but steph makes this amazing popcorn mix. >> stephanie: oh can i have some recipe music. >> the popcorn was a distraction from the weird petting. >> stephanie: that's why you endured. >> i didn't mind because the popcorn was so good. i must have asked her eight times how you make it as if i'm going to make it. anyone who knows me know i don't cook. >> stephanie: i use truffle oil and garlic oil. i use weird oils. >> and some cheese. >> like parmesan? >> stephanie: yes. i use parmesan and then i use that popcorn the cheese flavored popcorn salt that sticks on it. >> the stupid yellow colored -- >> stephanie: no. white. cheddar kind of thing. >> she's classier than that. >> stephanie: truffle salt. and parmesan cheese. it is delicious. thank you for bringing that up. >> you know what else would be good on that?

lowery's seasoning salt. >> stephanie: jacki. >> now we all need healthcare. >> my blood pressure went up 20 points just listening to it. >> stephanie: south carolina legislator forgets to use his inside voice. they gathered to expand medicaid eligibility under the affordable care act. representative chris crawford, a republican from florence, also an e.r. room doctor supports the expansion but expects the republican caucus to vote against the expansion. it is good politics to oppose the black guy in the white house right now especially for the republican party. >> but he believes in expansion. >> stephanie: and he's a doctor. and yet he's -- that's the part you're not supposed to say outloud. >> stephanie: i'm a doctor. i know it is a good thing but a lot of people don't like the black guy. [ buzzer ] what did i say?

>> chose terry schiavo over television. >> stephanie: obamacare's other plus in the "l.a. times." this is important because all of the stuff is starting to happen. the whole -- you know, the stuff we do on the show with you is part of it. educating people will be a big part of whether this works right? >> it will be huge. i think we need to be really honest about the heavy lift here because what we're doing is talking about hur healthcare system. this won't be an easy task. i think the government is working on it. the private sector folks working on it know there will be a lot of work put into this. we're talking about rolling them in these exchanges. a lot is salary-based. you get a government subsidy. it works on a sliding scale. there's a lot of information that has to be gathered and sorted and verified. >> stephanie: right. we were saying as we talked about this whole way a lot of republicans have a lot of interest in installing fear and

confusion in the republican states and -- that's what this article is talking about. how this is enacted. it was interesting jacki probably read this part. they made the analogy to when we passed civil rights legislation women's rights, voting rights. it also took people getting activated to -- it is not just passing the law right? it is making it work. >> that's a hard thing to do. it is a very difficult thing to mobilize the uninsured. it is a very difficult thing to mobilize the disenfranchised. we have to, at some point reach a critical mass which is what i think we did with a lot of the big civil rights movements in history. it is tricky because if it is no one demographic. you end up with people who don't have enough money to buy health insurance. other people have lost their jobs. they have a pre-existing conditions and they can't afford it. it comes down to cost a lot of times. but it is very difficult thing to do. it is a constituency that is

very challenging to organize. it is something we tried to do when we were with healthcare for america now and we were trying to mobilize against the insurance industry and against the drug companies. you have to somehow get all of the people together and it is a very challenging task. >> stephanie: yep. you know, nelson lickin' stein writes the affordable care act may well promise uninsured americans a lot more than cheap medical care. the millions of poor people who are alienated by strengthing the organizations that give them a voice. he says this year more than 30 million uninsured americans will begin signing up for obamacare but the vast majority of those eligible for the subsidized private health insurance through state health exchanges have no idea how to enroll. so that's part of right when people call in to ask you questions. >> a lot of it is going to be public relations. a lot of this is going to be hhs

making outreach. it will be private organizations. like nonprofits like families u.s.a. or you know, some of the other organizations that worked solely on healthcare issues. being able to train volunteers to get the personnel in place to be able to talk people through it. same way we try to talk people through medicare. when older folks enroll in medicare, a lot of times they need help. >> stephanie: that's right. this survey is not good. up to 3/4 of americans who might benefit are skeptical the law can provide high quality insurance coverage. this is dangerous, he writes not only for their health but for the viability of the law. because this is what we've been saying over and over. he writes fear, confusion ignorance among millions of potential beneficiaries can doom the reform. obamacare's success depends on the maximum participation. as you've said to us, if too few health which people purchase insurance through the state exchanges, not only will the

flow to doctors and clinics prove inadequate but companies will be providing coverage for too many of the old the ill and the des per it's and insurance rates will skyrocket. it is obviously important for the whole success of affordable care act right? >> yeah. need to participate and educate themselves. there are two components of this that is good. one is that the states have elected out of doing this themselves. so the uniformity of the federal exchange will help in a lot of states. i think at this point, it is more than half of the states that are going to be controlled by federal exchange. the states said they don't want to do it by themselves. there are some that will be in partnership. some of the states have decided to take this on by themselves and some will do it very well. there are some states that have an infrastructure in place. the other thing is that if they take -- leave from massachusetts, which did a big p.r. push to get people enrolled in their state insurance exchange, if i'm not mistaken,

they use the red sox in that to be able to encourage people and a public service announcement effort to get people to enroll. if states are clever about it or the federal government is clever about it -- >> stephanie: i was just going to say, this one he mentions, enroll america is going to launch a media blitz this summer designed to explain how the new law works and what subsidies are available for working families because i think you know, you're right. people will be confused. they're like is my state different? how do i get it? >> i might have to do double duty here. and work on that on the side. >> oh, boy! >> i think the problem is, too a lot of people forget this is complicated stuff. what we need to do is make it more palatable and easier to understand for people so if they're going to go online, it is in plain language. it is an easy process. there was an article about how difficult this seems to be at the outset and it is going to be

complicated. it is good to try now and get feedback and tear it down -- pare it down as much as we can. >> stephanie: alan in wisconsin, you're on with jacki. go ahead. >> caller: good morning. >> good morning. >> caller: scott walker has refused medicaid expansion and he refuses to set up the exchanges and i'm a retired veteran on social security and my wife has a serious thyroid condition. and my question is when she does get kicked off, is that pre-existing condition clause already available or does she have to wait until january 1st or what's the deal with that? do you know? >> you know, it is tricky. you would have to look at the state of wisconsin in particular. because some of the states have set up the high-risk insurance pools which would offer some form of insurance for somebody who has a pre-existing condition before the limitations go away. the problem with those in general is the premiums tend to be high and the coverage tends to be pretty bare.

it is a challenge. i think that the biggest challenge right now is this waiting period. we do have to wait until these exchanges are -- they'll be open for enrollment beginning of october but they won't be up and running until january. it is a challenge. i think it is indicative of the problem we have with our healthcare system currently. that's one of the things we have to keep in mind. you can't blame reform form the problems we have now because reform has been put into place to fix them. we still have a lot of problems to overcome. >> stephanie: main problem is to fix scott walker. >> caller: ershe has refused high-speed rail. >> stephanie: he's a disgrace. >> caller: he's reducing medicaid. he's making it smaller. >> stephanie: he's a disgrace, that guy. worker's rights. don't even get me started. >> he and rick scott have the market cornered on d bad governors. >> go, jacki. >> stephanie: she close with a d-bag.

love you bye! stop it. okay 17 minutes after the hour. you activated jim and my's inner gollum this morning. i love my carbonite. carbonite backs up everything in my computer, you know. seriously. you know i've spilled chardonnay on my laptop. yes! >> at least it wasn't rose. >> stephanie: no. that would have been tacky. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: plan on backing everything up in your computer but you know, you're busy. right? right. do what i do. get carbonite online back-up. it backs up everything in your computer automatically and continually. you don't have to remember to do it. it is quick, easy to set up. your computer files are backed up to the cloud automatically and continually. i point like it is an actual cloud somewhere up there. i don't know where it is. >> clouds from both sides. >> stephanie: i have judy collins in my music is in there.

and it is backed up. >> to the cloud. >> stephanie: unlimited back-up space for one computer. $59 for the entire year. includes access to the backed up files from any computer, tablet or smart phone plus carbonite has affordable plans for your small business which we are here at the "the stephanie miller show." go to carbonite.com and type in stephanie. for a free trial. two free bonus months with your subscription. the offer code is stephanie. 19 minutes after the hour. right back on "the stephanie miller show." >> announcer: in a perfect world, there would be no right wing talk radio. until then there's "the stephanie miller show."

(vo) she gets the comedians laughing and the thinkers thinking. >>ok, so there's wiggle room in the ten commandments, that's what you're saying. (vo) she's joy behar. >>current will let me say anything.

♪ dig if you will the picture ♪ ♪ you and i engage in a kiss ♪ ♪ the sweat of the body covers me ♪ ♪ can you my darling can you picture this ♪ >> stephanie: 24 minutes after the hour. what's that we were just listening to. >> there was a concerned minnesota father. mike frye. >> testifying at a minnesota state house hearing on gay marriage. >> he explained what happens to -- >> stephanie: yes. >> what happens during gay sex. and straight sex. >> no, no straight people. >> stephanie: 1-800-steph-12 the phone number toll free from

anywhere. >> he didn't mention the lesbian sex. >> stephanie: he's like that's hot. the other thing is gross. donna in oklahoma. you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi donna. >> caller: hi, stephanie. good morning. >> stephanie: good morning. >> caller: i just found out this morning that oklahoma, i didn't know they were looking into this but apparently they're one step closer to passing where teachers can carry guns in schools. i'm wondering if that passes, does that mean every school has to follow that or can schools set their own guidelines and say no? >> stephanie: it is such a ridiculous idea. they're talking about forcing teachers to carry guns whether they want to or not. >> insane. >> it is so depressing. i feel like a super liberal. i'm in oklahoma so you know what that must feel like. i feel like we're losing, you know. just to -- all of these small states and their governors and

their republicans. >> stephanie: i don't know if it is a reaction to the president's landslide victory. re-electing -- gaining bigger senate majority. one and a half more million people voting for democrats for the house than republicans, i don't know, donna but you're right. the states, it is like they're going crazy froot loops, right wing nuts. aren't they? >> caller: yes. it is scary. i don't know what my -- i know i have some crazy teachers in school. my son has had a couple so far. and i would hate for them to have a gun. >> stephanie: we've discussed our personal teachers. starting with the one with the lazy eye. >> dr. hunsaker. >> caller: oh, gosh, i just lost my train of thought. >> stephanie: it doesn't make any sense because to be prepared, you have to have it on you like rambo. >> caller: exactly. >> proficiency training. >> caller: just like a gun in your home to. have it ready, you need it

ready, loaded, right next to you. >> stephanie: what do you think? is there going to be more accidents and tragedies? >> absolutely. it is just -- their answer is not more guns. more people carrying. so depressing. >> stephanie: all right. best of luck to you in oklahoma. you're on your own. love you. >> it is tough to be progressive in a red state. i've been one. >> stephanie: i know, right. ♪ oklahoma ♪ >> stephanie: close the drapes so people can't see current on. >> don't tell them. >> you're my precious. you're all i have in oklahoma. i stroke the tv. >> neither one of you have lived in a red state. >> have i? >> stephanie: yeah, you're right. okay. the defense rests. ron in indiana you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi ron. >> caller: good morning. i'm still on this dog gone filibuster that rand paul did

and i heard bill press and i'm real disappointed in bill. i heard him praising him for doing that. >> stephanie: ron, the point is we should have real filibusters like that. half of the stuff he said was nonsense. >> caller: i agree with you 100%. that's totally right. he filibustered for 13 hours tying up the business of the country to ask what i consider one of the dumbest questions i've ever heard in my life. does the president think he has the authority to kill innocent americans? is that -- you know. what is this guy's i.q. anyhow? >> stephanie: of course, the answer is no. art in chicago you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi art. >> caller: good morning, stephanie. i'm not going to talk politics. i'm for gun laws. i am for gun restrictions. and i believe that the answer is we have to concentrate on these

judges. the young man, i don't know the names, the young man that shot that little girl that was in washington, d.c. okay, he was out on parole twice. using an illegal weapon. two times. why don't we pass a law this is what i'm getting after. pass a law -- i don't care if you're a businessman. you have an illegal gun on you you go to jail for 15 years, no questions asked. then we stop some of the problem. there is a bigger problem. >> are we agreeing with each other, art? >> stephanie: we're out of time. i'm getting out early. >> before it gets awkward. >> stephanie: i think he didn't get to his main point. >> probably not. >> stephanie: he's fuming now. 29 minutes after the hour. right back on "the stephanie miller show." >> if you believe in state's

rights but still support the drug war you must be high. >> "viewpoint" digs deep into >> do you think that there is any chance we'll see this president even say the words "carbon tax"? >> with an open mind... >> has the time finally come for real immigration reform? >> ...and a distinctly satirical point of view. >> but you mentioned "great leadership" so i want to talk about donald rumsfeld. >> (laughter). >> watch the show. >> only on current tv.

>> nobody believed we would make it. i drink and you use sex as a weapon. that seems to me like a success. >> stephanie: good morning representative. i'm good, rockin' congresswoman! i love that you called the republican budget march madness. it really is. it really is. >> madness as insanity. happy mayhem. this is really a crazy budget. >> it is -- literally is things -- i thought the election

already was decided. here's paul ryan yesterday. >> obamacare is a fiscal train wreck. >> it hasn't even started yet really. it is ridiculous. >> here's thissing that makes what he said really disgusting. were it not for the cuts that were actually made, remember that $716 billion he keeps all of the tax revenue from obamacare. he keeps all of the trimming that we were able to do from medicare in his budget. but what he does is he cuts the benefits. he cuts all of the benefits so those people that were hoping with pre-existing conditions that they would be able to get healthcare and that they may get subsidies from the government, that's gone.

paul ryan ought to dedicate his budget to the president of the united states. because it is the hundreds of the billions of dollars a year in the president's policies that make it possible for him to even suggest that he's going to eliminate the deficit. >> the new tax revenues he voted against. maybe you can explain it to a layperson. you probably saw the exchange with chris wallace. you suppose the repeal of obamacare. he said that's not going to happen. it is entirely fictional document. how are we supposed to negotiate with or against this? >> yes well it is completely dead on arrival in the senate. this is absolutely going nowhere. and in fact, i thought with chris wallace that paul ryan admitted that. that this was really just a statement of their philosophy. and what a mean-spirited philosophy it really is. this is essentially to lower taxes for the wealthiest which

would require an elimination of a slew of popular middle class deductions. there's no other way to do it. and the white house is suggesting it would even cause a large tax hike on the middle class to make the numbers work. cuts medicaid to the bone. slices food stamp benefits in order to do it. that is their philosophy. they have it in black and white. now very unpopular. i think we had an election pretty much on this issue. don't you think? >> stephanie: honestly, die get it representative. for people watching from outside of washington, it just seems the parties are farther apart than ever. we've had this election. as you say. they literally are doubling down on all of the ideas that just lost. do you see any way that we come together on this? i don't understand how. >> well, it will be interesting to see how many of the republicans actually vote for this budget, if they call it for a vote. because i think many of them, after this last election, may be

a bit worried. if they aren't worried enough, they should be worried in 2014 because the kinds of cuts that are gonna make it possible to give more tax breaks to the wealthiest americans is exactly what the american people said no to. so i think it is at their peril that they vote for a bill like this. >> stephanie: representative i'm sure you've seen the same polling, the president's approval rating is slipping somewhat. they are helping to ding him. >> republicans are still taking more of the blame for letting sequestration take effect. more importantly the "daily beast," some sample headlines from around the country. pittsburgh u.s. government sequester kills army marine tuition aid. missouri, federal workers irked by lost pay. wyoming, wyoming healthcare senators brace for healthcare cuts. on and on. i do think that as this plays

out, it is only going to get worse for republicans, isn't it? >> i don't think there's any question about it. we had a presentation on some polling that was done just completed last night. and to your point, john boehner turns out to be probably one of the most unpopular people in the country with americans. and there is a big gap between his positives 27% and the president's which 49%. and the other thing that our -- we were surprised at. 60% of americans are really worried that the cuts that are in the sequester and in the budget are going to personally affect them in a negative way. and so you know, for awhile, we were wondering are the american

people really going to see this sequester and these budget cuts as meaningful in their lives? the truth is that people are worried about it and they should be. >> stephanie: yeah well, as i say, i think i was reading a piece in here about somebody -- going to take awhile for this to seep down into the grassroots and cause a popular reaction. but the white house and others remaining hopeful the fallout from the sequester and defense heavy districts like virginia could produce a compromise at some point on the sequestration. what do you think? >> well, i'm hoping we'll be able to come up with a compromise. i just produced a piece i actually haven't put it out yet. that said yes let's cut spending but let's do it through the tax code because there are all of these tax giveaways that are really another way of spending. that result in savings of $1.2 trillion, exactly the amount of the sequester.

we could ask not only the richest americans but corporations that aren't paying any taxes big oil and gas companies to pay more. at one point i talked with you about our corporate tax fairness bill. the one i have with senator bernie sanders. and so there are a number of ways that we could address the problem without asking middle class and poor people to tighten their belt because stephanie they're on the last hole in that belt. >> stephanie: yeah. that's exactly right. by the way if i were in congress, anything had your name and senator sanders, i would say yes before they even tell what it is? who votes aye? me! whatever jan says. so, you know, because i'm sure -- i think i was watching, it was rachel last night. look at the gun stuff. you and i have talked about it. 92% of americans are for background checks. and you know --

>> including gun owners. >> stephanie: how could something not get done and yet there's not a single republican that would vote for it. the disconnect between what's going on in washington on the republican side of the aisle and the american people has i don't think ever been so profound. certainly not in the 14 years that i've been here. i think longer as well. this is really going against the grain in every way. the gun issue. the budget issues. immigration issues. hopefully we're going to make some progress there just because they see the writing on the wall in terms of their own re-elections. but you know, so it is hard to explain to people why we can't get things done. but it is also unfair to say oh, act like adults. it is both sides. no. it really isn't. the president has been reaching and reaching and reaching and dining and talking and schmoozing and still they're

not moving. >> stephanie: yeah. i'm reading it as we speak about the gun issue congresswoman. senators negotiating a bill mandating background checks for all gun guy buyers are expecting the nra not to fight the measure providing it does not require private gun sellers to maintain records of the checks. let's teeth out of it so the nra is happy who represents nobody at this point if you look at the polling. >> the good news that legislation now is coming out of the senate judiciary committee. we have both of my senators, senator kirk and senator durbin that are on a gun trafficking bill that's moving along. and you know, not a single republican was at the background checks that came out. not a single republican. voted for that. it is just mysterious. really. >> it really is.

it cannot stand. >> but not keeping records is increddic, isn't it? so that we can't go back and trace a gun to a crime. you know, this idea that somehow big government wants to spy on people. no actually, we want to keep our kids safe in school and going to the movies and in our neighborhoods in chicago. that's our ulterior motive. >> stephanie: exactly. well representative, how do you see this budget thing playing out? what happens next? is it the senate democrats put forward? because like i said, to me, it is laughable the paul ryan budget. now what? >> the senate will come up with a budget. it will be interesting to see if the ryan budget passes, then there's going -- we're going to have to work together on budgets. it is hard to -- and that's on a continuing resolution, that is also going to be conferenced because that keeps the sequester

in place. all of these automatic budget cuts. but i think that hopefully we're going to keep mobilizing that majority of the american people that say you know, we're not going to accept a completely unbalanced, without increases in revenue, corporate and personal, i think rich people, rich companies paying more, we're just not going to accept that. we're not going to say let's cut medicare and social security and food stamps and meals on wheels and food inspectors in order to give tax cuts to the richest americans. >> stephanie: yep. here we go again. >> here we go again. >> stephanie: before you go, who do you want for pope? just kidding. we don't care. >> pope? [ laughter ] >> the kind of neat thing is that when the pope gets elected he becomes infallible. how cool is that? >> stephanie: don't you wish

that worked for congresspeople? >> some people think so. get elected to the congress. >> stephanie: only one is. that is representative jan schakowsky the rockin' congresswoman from the great state of illinois. >> bye-bye. >> you threw her off with the pope question. who do you want for pope? okay. who cares. i don't know. really? watching people on tv watching for smoke. ooh, i wonder who's gonna -- there you go. paul ryan for pope. there you go. 46 minutes after the hour. right back on "the stephanie miller show." >> at least it is a good place to see celebrities. >> announcer: it's "the stephanie miller show." other night? is this personal or is it political? a lot of my work happens by doing the things that i am given to doing anyway. staying in tough with everything that is going on politically and putting my own nuance on it. not only does senator rubio just care about rich people but somehow he thinks raising the minimum wage is a bad idea for the middle class. but we do care

about them, right? vo: the war room tonight at 6 eastern

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>> announcer: stephanie miller. ♪ >> how about rick ocasek for pope? >> stephanie: good idea. 1-800-steph-12. sexy liberal hal sparks on his way into studio. thank you, mr. man. >> special delivery. >> stephanie: travis brings me things to make me look important. [ applause ] has someone told mayor bloomberg, deep fried doughnut bacon cheeseburgers. this is a thing. this is why you're fat.com. you can ban that. don't ban my big gulp. >> stephanie: don't get the calamari. >> i have a question about the sugary drink ban. >> stephanie: yes. >> does that mean that diet coke is banned as well? >> stephanie: no, there's no sugar in diet coke.

>> but the artificial sweetener is not good for you either. >> i know. >> stephanie: choose. fat, cancer, fat cancer. >> i'll just get a bottle of water. >> stephanie: well, that's a ridiculous idea. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: tommy writes, it is a very important tip for you dog lovers, do not feed your dog a big plate of leftover low main and go to bed. rafalca was sold to ikea after the olympics. [ buzzer ] we don't know that for sure. also, paul ryan budget fun facts. let's see. welcome to the new budget, same as the old budget. paul ryan or mitt romney. raises taxes on the middle class to pay for tax cuts to the rich, check, check both of them. and medicare as we know it, shifting cost to seniors. maintains billions in oil breaks. expands incentives to ship jobs overseas. cutting funding for programs for

middle class and low income families. slashes medicaid, hurting seniors, low income families. lowers growth, increases unemployment, increase painful european style austerity measures. >> they really think this is a good idea? >> stephanie: check, check check. >> the cbo expects a deficit to be $845 billion down from $1.4 trillion in 2009 so the debt is already going down. >> stephanie: now we have the sequestration, of course. i don't know about you but i'm kind of sick of it. ♪ ♪ i'm sick of the sequestration ♪ ♪ it's giving me some

frustrations ♪ ♪ i'm sick of the sequestration ♪ >> stephanie: wow rocky mountain mike! i was just talking to representative jan schakowsky about this. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] eleanor cliff in the "daily beast," stung by the meed yeah a focus on the suspension of white house tours. democrats fighting back. party sources providing reporters with links around the country that show the impact of the budget cuts with some republicans starting to squeal. ♪

>> stephanie: the mounting complaints provide some context for president obama's visit to capitol hill this week where he'll make separate pitches to caucuses to replace the sequester with smarter short-term cuts coupled with a commitment to cut cuts. these headlines around the country, they're not good. michigan, grand rapids press faa to close six airport control towers in michigan. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] >> oh, dear, what could possibly go wrong? >> planes falling out of the sky. >> stephanie: it is a libertarian paradise. go land fly do whatever you want. senator mitch on the whole budget. >> it appears the president is happy to drop the bomb on the congressional budget process instead by releasing his budget plan after after the house and senate have already acted. now, presumably, this is so he can campaign against republicans if the process fails as he no doubt hopes. >> stephanie: see, he already did campaign against

republicans. he won. [ ♪ nah nah nah nah nah ♪ ] you lost! >> stephanie: see how that went down. >> my sole purpose is to deny the president a third term. sorry, what? he doesn't get one? oh. >> stephanie: no. senator kelly ayotte. >> for those seniors that are out there with medicare going bankrupt in 2024, with social security going bankrupt in 2033, increase taxes a trillion dollars and not even save those programs is unconscionable. >> first of all -- >> stephanie: lindsey graham's friend. >> good friend. >> you can understand that. it sounds just like friend. >> i want to buy her pearls. >> never mind. i caught myself. >> stephanie: stop it. inside voice. okay. and the president's carney yesterday.

>> we look at the ryan budget of the perfect example of why balance is so necessary. this is the alternative to balance. >> stephanie: just a little bit. and the president's carney one more time. >> have you looked at the ryan budget? can you find a single item in tax reform? a single loop hole? $5 trillion. that's a lot of money. not one. >> stephanie: they're kind of laughing at the budget. it is pile on the budget munster day. senator harry reid. >> he has held out to be this guy who understands things so well. what he understands is nothing. >> stephanie: representative chris van hollen. >> it is a question of whether you take a balanced approach which is what we proposed or you take this lopsided uncompromising approach which is what we're seeing in the house republican budget. >> stephanie: richard in chicago. you're on "the stephanie miller show." hi richard.

>> caller: hello. i voted for jan schakowsky, too. >> stephanie: yea. >> caller: the stuff about guns in schools and they haven't proposed arming the kindergarteners yet. >> stephanie: they will. >> caller: surprised they've overlooked it. you can't walk into the nra headquarters with a gun i'll bet ya. you can't go into courts or congress. it is okay for the common people to have all of the guns running. you can't walk into a gunshop with a gun. >> stephanie: yeah. >> caller: because they think you're robbing them. some, you can't have more than one bullet in a gun. what about the large clip magazines. >> stephanie: exactly. all right. 58 minutes after the hour. sexy liberal hal sparks. >> he's downstairs. >> stephanie: live in studio for hump days with hal next on "the stephanie miller show."

[ ♪ theme ♪ ] >> stephanie: okay. hello current tv land. hour number three. sexy liberal hal sparks on his way in. jacki, i can't stand the tension over this whole pope thing. look, white smoke. it could come as soon as 11:50 eastern time. >> you know what i learned this morning? they used to use wet straw to make the smoke black. but now they use a chemical. >> stephanie: wow. not many people that can pull that little fun fact right out of their arse. >> is that exciting or what? >> stephanie: thank you for

that. >> i don't think i've been this excited since i set up my own fireplace this summer. >> stephanie: i will never get that 15 seconds in my life back. >> we have fireplaces here in california? >> i should say i set it up over the winter. >> stephanie: i have one. >> we have winter in california? >> yes we do. stephanie has so many working fireplaces, she likes to set fire to everything. it is 90 degrees. there is a fire on the porch. >> stephanie: it is like back draft in my house. here's jacki schechner. >> president obama is asking the secret service to reconsider its decision to stop white house tours and possibly accommodate school groups that are descending over spring break. the president acknowledged a lot of groups had fund-raisers including bake sales in order to afford their travel and it would be reasonable to try to allow them to take the tour that they've anticipated. the secret service and white house staff made the decision to suspend tours in light of the need to cut back once the sequester kicked in.

administration official emphasizes this decision was not taken to the president that it was decided below his level. at least one group of iowa sixth graders is scheduled to visit the white house this week and they've taken to lobbying to be able to get their tour. they've made a video and launched a web site called "the white house is our house."com. in advance of today's meeting with ceos to talk about cyber security, the president is warning that cyber threats against the u.s. are growing. he says it is clear some are state-sponsor and he singles out china as one nation in the u.s. is keeping an eye on. the president signed an executive order last month calling on authorities to share information better on cyber threats. but congress still has to act to make anything legally binding. and george p. bush, jeb's son has decided to get into politics. he's launched a web video launching his campaign for land commissioner. he praises his grandmother whom he calls gann yirks former

first lady barbara bush for teaching him the value of public service. we're back after the break. billy zane stars in barabbas. coming in march to reelz. to find reelz in your area, go to reelz.com

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biologic medicine prescribed by rheumatologists. >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's "the stephanie miller show." ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ i'm walkin' on sunshine ♪ ♪ and it's time to feel good ♪ >> no, don't! >> stephanie: you'll hurt yourself. it is "the stephanie miller show" and it's wednesday. you know what that means. >> stephi. what's that heavy breathing i hear? could it be? ♪ the humpty dance ♪ >> hump days with hal sparks. >> yes yes!

>> hal: hi. how about that paul ryan budget, huh? haven't seen that many cuts since i dated that imo chick. >> stephanie: that's his new character, evil bob hope. >> hal: we'll talk about it during the break. the difference between the romney/ryan budget plan cookie cutter and pretended not to be and the new paul ryan plan is that he scratched out vice president paul ryan super awesome budget for the new america that is like the old one. it was written across the top in big like orange font. >> stephanie: you can picture the turned around baseball cap. >> the one he had to turn in to get voted on has it scratched out sadly at the top. been redacted. redacted my awesome -- >> stephanie: vice president. >> hal: the ayn rand memorial budget. [ wah wah ] >> stephanie: it just doesn't -- you think there was

actually outright laughter in the white house? really? just a guess. >> hal: i think there was outright laughter at certain points during the campaign when they were really aware this was a stinker and now they know it's not working. it is just meant to be an obstructive process. it is just a holdup. it is a campaign tool. >> stephanie: it is compromised of things that either were the president's idea that he voted against and campaigned against or things that aren't going to happen. the affordable care act. >> hal: again very distinctly, i think it was great it was brought up, it tacitly was. it is not a repeal of obama care. it is a repeal of the benefits of obamacare. it keeps all of the savings. it keeps all of the -- >> stephanie: which can't happen if you take away the benefits. however -- it is awesome. you know when you get faced by chris wallace, it is probably a bad -- >> hal: the affordable care act, over time, lowers the deficit. and thereby our national debt as

well. the amount of money that we pay into healthcare can and should be curtailed. in smart ways. >> stephanie: we were just saying michael tomasky in "daily beast" and others are saying, the deficit is going down. the best thing to do for the deficit is get more jobs and spur the economy. that will bring the deficit down. >> cbo says the deficit for 2013 is about $845 billion down from $1.4 trillion. >> hal: 92% of americans don't know that. >> stephanie: cynthia from chicago, you're on with hal. >> caller: stephanie? >> stephanie: yes. >> caller: i was calling about the ryan budget. i guess he doesn't know the definition of stupid? >> stephanie: he does. it is his budget. >> the definition of stupid is making the same -- asking the same question or making the same statement and expecting a

different answers. i guess he thinks everybody is stupid. >> stephanie: exactly. >> here's the thing. they're counting on a certain level of bullheaded stupidity from their constituency. this is the same thing that's happening with the gun laws that are trying to get through or whatever. while 92% of the american people are for it because of how they have laid out a lot of the congressional districts,s they these guys are corn ired into the cookeiest districts ever. if you have a secure district, it means he everybody whether is drinking -- it means everybody there is drinking the same kool-aid. >> stephanie: the cuckoo banana platform. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] >> stephanie: the president's approval rating is slipping slightly. the latest shows approval rating at 45%. disapproval rating at 48%. still republicans though who are taking more of the blame for letting sequestration take effect. the poll finds 46% surveyed

blame the republicans 36% blame the president and we were saying as more and more of the local headlines and local stories come out, people are feeling the real pain -- >> hal: those are the exact numbers of identifying democrats versus identifying republicans. and that number on the republican side is the scariest number for them. you got a does not 32% to 36% republican identity and voting platform in this country because -- look at who's against the president every single time. it is gonna be somewhere between 32 and 36% except in the rare issue of -- interestingly enough, background checks. because that hits people i think in their heart and they pay attention after something like newtown. but in this case, i mean every single person who identifies on a team level, with a big r on their shirt with the republican party, is just soundly against the president no matter what he does. i think a good 20% of those people, it is because of his skin color and the rest of them

is because he has a d on his jersey. that's all that matters to them, they're going to stay at that point. the scary part for them and what happened in the last election, became more pronounced was that 46%. it has become a 52%. >> stephanie: we were quoting a south carolina republican legislator who was saying it is good politics right now for loud republicans to vote against the black guy. ooh, was i not supposed to say that part out loud? [ buzzer ] but it's true. he is someone -- he's a doctor. he's for expanding the medicaid expansion and all of that. >> hal: they're all for it when they see the benefits of it long-term. paul ryan, they would never put into their budget, allowing medicare and medicaid to negotiate pharmaceutical price as a group thing which they would allow a corporation to do. any corporation that wants to basically unionize their purchasing power against a pharmaceutical company and go we wanted to negotiate the price of this down since we're buying it in bulk, they would never let

the government do that. they would never let the taxpayer do that because to them it is -- well -- >> corporations aren't people after all. >> stephanie: ivan in california, you're on with hal. >> caller: there is a bill, i believe it is 1965 by a democrat and it brings the house in line -- all of the -- like paul ryan. he's a first time in the house. if he loses his pension is $50,000 a year but mr. lundgren who brings the bills up, won't even bring it up so these people, if they lose after one time, they have to wait until they're 65 or 67 to get their old age pension. why do they get $50,000 a year. $26,000 more than the top paid doctor for working just four years. >> stephanie: because they get so much done. [ ♪ circus ♪ ] >> hal: from the republican standpoint doing nothing is their job this time around. they're stopping bills from going through. they consider those -- that's --

having a do-nothing congress to them is a badge of honor. if you're ayn randian, it is the grover norquist thing. drown the government in the bathtub. that's part of the plan. it is not that they're not getting stuff done. not getting stuff done is the plan. >> stephanie: the important thing is sarah palin has tweeted about the soda ban being overturned in new york. victory near in nyc for liberty loving soda drinkers to politicians with too much time on their hands say government, stay out of my refrigerator. >> hal: look the cost long-term of obesity in this country will be -- what we thought was going to be the baby boomer crest in cost for healthcare is actually turning into the obesity crest. as baby boomers a lot of them actually realize that long-term health benefits of exercise, taking better care of themselves and the egotism of that group that generation, actually serves them the obesity level in this country is actually what's

causing our healthcare costs to project hire. so trying to curtail that on a government level i get. i totally get. >> stephanie: there's more important news. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] than obesity tanking our entire healthcare system. sarah palin is writing a book about the war on christmas as well. >> hal: i have to leave. i have to go write to toys "r" us because they're going to be out of crayens. >> $10 says she's not writing it. >> stephanie: it is called a happy holiday is a merry christmas. due out in november. it will urge reserving jesus christ in christmas. >> stephanie: jim, can i have some sarah palin music. it is better when jim reads her gobbledygook. >> politically correct. before the element of faith and the glorious tradition of christmas. it is marginalized and ignored. this will be a thought provoking

book. in defense of the faith being ignored. blah, blah blah, blah. >> hal: by the way that's classic country artist money making she's doing there. if your career is flagging, turn out a christmas or christian album and you'll -- it will give you a nice fiscal boost. >> stephanie: we're doing christmas sweater. >> hal: we'll do jesus is the reason for the season show. because we support people's right for -- to worship jesus and have christmas. why not. >> stephanie: i'm knitting. >> festive thong. >> i'm already wearing it. the prototype is a little itchy. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] >> stephanie: okay. everything you need to know about the current makeup of the republican party. palin and trump score more cpac speaking time than paul, rubio

and ryan. >> that's huge. >> hal: that's a smart move. would you like to know the fun facts. palin gets 16 minutes. who doesn't want longer of that? >> encore! >> stephanie: trump gets 14 minutes. that's huge! rand paul, rick perry, bobby jindal rand paul gets 13 hours of course. no, he does not. >> eight minutes slotted. >> stephanie: rand paul, rick perry, bobby jindal, each have 13 minutes. santorum only 7 minutes. and this year's keynote speaker ted cruz will speak for a full 33 minutes. how about that. >> he will read from a list of people he's assured are marxists communists, muslim sympathizers from kenya. >> 205 muslim sympathizers from the state department. >> stephanie: all right. 17 minutes after the hour. go to my pc is how we keep this whole little contraption running

here at the "the stephanie miller show." >> barely. >> stephanie: right? i love using go to my pc by citrix. i can access my entire computer from my mobile device. i can get work done while i'm waiting. it turns any ipad, iphone into your computer. it is the missing link. edit or send any file like you were sitting at your desk. you can use the fancy features. edit, you know. stuff you used to have to go chain yourself to your computer for. >> photo shop. >> stephanie: use any program even those you don't have set up on your mobile device. >> some you just can't. that's the thing. >> stephanie: go to my pc. try it today. you're never going back. >> that's what they say. >> stephanie: try it free today. get a special 45-day free trial. visit gotomypc.com. click on the try it free button. type in the promo code, stephanie. download the free app to your mobile device. try it free. the promo code is stephanie. 18 minutes after the hour.

back with more. hump days with hal sparks on "the stephanie miller show." >> stephanie miller, one of the more popular and funny liberal talk show hosts in the country. >> announcer: it's "the stephanie miller show." in brookside chocolate a world of remarkable tastes comes together. rich, dark chocolate meets sweetened soft centers flavored with exotic fruit juices, like pomegranate

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i think the number one thing that viewers like about the young turks is that we're honest. they can question whether i'm right, but i think that the audience gets that this guy, to the best of his ability, is trying to look

out for us. ♪ let's talk about sex, baby ♪ ♪ let's talk about you and -- >> stephanie miller ♪ let's talk about all the good things and bad things that may be ♪ ♪ let's talk about sex ♪ ♪ let's talk about sex ♪ >> sure. >> is anybody doing anything about it. >> stephanie: hump days with sex on a stick, hal sparks.

he is sex on a stick. >> it is true. >> sometimes i'm the stick itself. >> stephanie: marcy in florida, you're on with hal. >> caller: hi, stephanie. i have a question for you. i talked to this person, he's a tea partier. i don't call him tea baggers anymore because i don't want to be mean. but -- >> stephanie: a man. >> they give off deadly ways of stupidness. you try not to talk to them too long. >> supporters out of an alien -- spores out of an alien pod. >> caller: they're going small government, small government. we need small government. i asked him what does it mean? they kind of give me this look. i asked him the other day. if you could give me the answer to this because i don't know. i could fact check it. >> stephanie: that would be lazy. >> caller: of the american work force is tied indirectly or

directly to government. because if they want to kill it, there is a huge amount of jobs that are going to go with it. >> stephanie: i don't -- this is new. rooting for -- you know, less teachers and firefighters and police. i don't get that. literally cheer public employee layoffs. >> hal: i've mentioned this before. the difference between the democratic and the republican party is the democrats treat this country like people with a mortgage who intend to stay in their home. the republicans treat it like an apartment they've been renting and if they can put toothpaste in the poster holes on the wall when they take them down and move out, they can keep their security deposit and move to the cayman islands. these guys have checked out. paul ryan -- >> stephanie: you're a renter. >> hal: paul ryan thinks of america and i mean this legitimately as an investment steppingstone. this is why romney wouldn't tell you where his investment overseas lied and what companies he would invest in because this is -- the american legal system is great for an investor.

it protects your intellectual property if you develop a product and those kind of things. once you move past that certain point and you're selling it to the rest of the world we have tariff and trade protection laws. they take advantage of this because it is porous. move the factories to china. next step is to move their corporate red quarters to a place where -- headquarters to a place where nobody will tax them. >> stephanie: dana in maryland. >> caller: just this whole pope thing, it is like kind of -- it is a bit much. >> stephanie: yes. >> hal: that's what i think every time i see a pope. >> caller: 2013 pope watch. smoke out of the chimney offensive anyway. that's a whole other issue. >> stephanie: thanks for adding the global warming. >> caller: what i don't understand is how mahoney is in the conclave picking the new pope when he was just stripped in california, is that correct?

million dollar lawsuit? >> stephanie: i know. >> caller: i wanted to know what you guys think about all of this. >> so corrupt. >> stephanie: plus, die get why it is like 24/7, everybody is glued to their -- like who are they going to pick? like you're going to know any of them. oh, he's good. >> hal: the american people getting caught up in -- especially if you're not catholic. i suppose if you're catholic it has great meaning to you but the rest of us having to watch it as if it is amazing is like watching the royal wedding to some degree. >> stephanie: okay. that's where we hit the gender divide. i love the princess wedding. >> hal: you watch it like a celebrity wedding. this is hoyt. this is a -- this is royalty. this is a monarchy. we fought a war to avoid both of these things. religious leader being picked by guys. >> stephanie: they could learn by not calling it prematurely.

>> hal: they pick a guy. it is not an election. >> stephanie: we don't have exit polls or early returns. they do it the right way. they get to a final vote then they let the smoke get it. [ crying ] >> stephanie: maybe we better wait and let it go to its final conclusion. >> stephanie: we did. >> hal, you're right. it is no more an election than picking a speaker of the house. >> hal: if the senate chose the president, we wouldn't call it an election. we would call it a selection. that's exactly what it is. especially when you have somebody like mahoney in on the process. honestly. >> stephanie: i think john boehner would look awesome in little satin slippers and a big hat. don't you think? >> get bronzer all over the hat. >> stephanie: have to dry-clean it every day.

>> john boehner, while the sequestration is happening joined a group of senators to add $181 million to an upgrade program at an abrams tank facility where they build the abrams tank in lima, ohio, driving distance from his district where a lot of people in his district work at that plant. even though the army is phasing out the abrams tank. why upgrade it when you're not going to build it anymore. this is your fiscally responsible party. this is the guy who pats paul ryan on the head and says nice job. >> stephanie: back with more hump days with hal on "the stephanie miller show." compelling true stories.

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>> announcer: stephanie miller. >> night mystery. i obviously have the flu coupled with turret's syndrome. >> stephanie: 34 minutes after the hour. >> can you get sudden onset turret's syndrome? >> stephanie: i don't know. yeah. 1-800-steph-12 the phone number toll free from anywhere. mary in atlanta you're on with hal. hello, mary. >> caller: hello, miss stephanie. how are you? >> stephanie: good. go ahead. >> caller: i wanted to say hello to everyone else and you guys were on fire on monday. >> stephanie: well you know. it was an explosion of hotness. we had wonder woman for god's sakes! [ explosion ] and hot brie.

>> caller: i wanted to address that comment that was made about obama being a racist and it has been said that he wants to turn black people against white people. >> stephanie: on fox news. >> hal: fox news i were tending it was somebody -- fox news pretending it was somebody outside -- >> stephanie: they mean someone in the hallway. >> hal: roger ailes that morning at the meeting. >> caller: i'm biracial. i've never once thought that, you know, my black dna wanted to beat up my white dna. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: why are you hitting yourself? >> caller: yeah. and furthermore, with the reparations, if i were to get the 40 acres the righteous indignation of my black half would be elated. >> you get 20 acres and an ass. >> stephanie: the white half of you would want to enslave the

black half of you. >> hal: the white side of would you make the black side of you work the land. >> stephanie: there is no winning, mary. >> hal: it is amazing how black he becomes to these folks without realizing, you know, he is largely raised by his white grandparents and so -- like their hatred of -- what they must project from their side is kind of stunning. if he hated white people like we hate black people, he probably -- oh my god! i'm scared. fema coffin. >> stephanie: if we have our fiscal conservatives on the right. would you like not so fun facts about how americans were swindled by the hidden cost of the iraq war. >> sure. >> stephanie: by way of the guardian. it is just -- you know, rachel has this had this great piece on msnbc. it is worth remembering when

we're having the budget battles. when the u.s. invaded iraq in 2003 the bush administration estimated it would cost $50 to $60 billion except what's his name said iraq oil would pay for it. >> hal: they still think iraq owes us money. >> stephanie: $50 billion to overthrow saddam hussein and establish a function of government. this was catastrophically wrong. it has cost $823 billion between 2003-2011. it makos $3.7 trillion. they were a little off. >> hal: not including the cost in detriment to our economy. >> stephanie: most striking fact about the cost of the war is the extent to which it has been kept off the books as we've said many times of the government's ledgers. this was done by design, a fundamental assumption of the bush administration's approach to the war where it is only politically sustainable if it was portrayed as near costless to the american public.

70% of the course of the wars in iraq and afghanistan between 2003 and 2008 were funded with emergency appropriations approved outside the pentagon's annual budget. how they got away with this, i don't know. more fundamentally the bush administration masked the cost of the war with deficit spending to ensure the american people would not face the cost which -- when bush was in office. its real costs were confined to the 1% of the population who fought and died there. as a result, the average american was never forced to confront whether pouring money borrowed from china into the corrupt services was worth it or whether it made more sense to rebuild infrastructure in iraq. and we lost at least -- i don't know $8 billion to fraud waste. [ whatever! ] >> stephanie: now they're fiscal conservatives. >> hal: the president comes into office with $1.1 trillion in the budget before he ever does anything. at the moment of the crash even. still with the $117 trillion he

has to figure out a way to deal with. he's making the choice. let's put this war on the books. let's know we're there. >> stephanie: part of why the deficit is coming down is because we're getting out of iraq and afghanistan which is what he ran and won on. he's getting some of the bush tax cuts back, are helping. it is -- >> hal: mccain -- here comes mccain and lindsey graham freaking out. mccain's original assessment of the war is it would last 65 minutes and they would leave a mint on our pillow. >> stephanie: the lowest level of spending since like eisenhower. so their entire narrative is wrong. it is just -- joe in detroit. you're on with hal. hi joe. >> caller: how are you guys? >> stephanie: good. go ahead. >> caller: just a little serious note here. last night on rachel's show, they did a thing where the -- we first started the republic, each state got in the constitution,

two senators. the difference between the most popular state virginia and the least popular delaware was 11 to 1. now it is 66 to 1. >> hal: more representation than california, new york state by an exponential factor which is an absurdity. >> caller: it figures out to 21%. 41 senators represent 21% of the population blocking 69% of the business but it is worse in the house. it is 600,000 are in a congressional district and you take the 40 tea party people and divide that into the total house, it is less than 10%. so those 10% are holding up 90% of the business of this country and the people who don't believe that way. >> hal: right. don't get me started on anonymous holds. the idea that in a democracy a senator can put a hold on a bill they don't like and never have to tell them it is them doing it and b why!

>> stephanie: it is like twitter. >> hal: this is governing by youtube trolling. >> everybody has an egg for an avatar. you don't know who it is. >> hal: blue egg. >> stephanie: government control. >> exactly. >> stephanie: barb in ohio. you're on with hal. >> caller: hi. hey, steph. you were talking about rebuilding in iraq. their infrastructure. what kills me is we'll go there i know that we damaged everything. don't get me wrong. we should probably rebuild it. but we put all of this money into iraq yet our own infrastructure is going to pot. we sell it off to everybody. foreigners are buying our roads and you know, privatizing to raise money. >> hal: train from vegas to disneyland that all of the republicans said was a horrible idea and would not be financially sustainable is being built by a chinese firm with $8 billion of private money because

they know it is going to be profitable. >> stephanie: yeah. >> caller: right. and then you've got poor detroit there where we can't even lend a helping hand to our own city. we can't help them. but yet we bail out everybody in the world and wall street and everybody else. >> stephanie: this was a feeding trough, too, for these -- the blackwaters and all of the private -- >> hal: no bid contract. fiscal responsibility. there is your belief in the american people. there is your constitutional freedom fighters. i'm fighting for your freedom. pay no attention to how i'm spending your money. if i want to dump $8 billion of it into a series of trucks and the trucks drive into the iraqi desert and vaporize and that money shows up god knows where that's -- trust me on this. this is okay. >> stephanie: yeah, exactly. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ]

>> stephanie: what i meant to say was jim, i was on erin burnett last night. >> oh. >> you need this music. >> stephanie: i was on the show. >> you weren't on. >> on the erin burnett program. poor distinction in your case. >> stephanie: it deprives jim of the momentary pleasure and the creepy noise. >> hal: you could say i was on the erin burnett television program and he would go doing what? it wouldn't matter. >> stephanie: were you in the box? okay. we were talking about lance armstrong. wow, what a douche nozzle he is. holy cow, is he arrogant. he said i'm like bill clinton and people will forgive me. >> wow! really? >> nice try. >> hal: bill clinton's lie had nothing to do with his job performance. >> stephanie: that's what i said when i was on erin burnett last night. [ applause ] that's what i said.

i said first of all i said 70% of the american people agreed with me he should not be impeached for his private life. it had nothing to do with his job. whereas i said lance armstrong's cheating was his entire career, went on his entire career. the lying went on his entire career. he was cheating about the thing that was his job. he was an inspiration to people for. that was different than investigating someone for their private life then using it to say this has something to do with your presidency. lance armstrong has claimed the public will forgive him for being the biggest drug cheat in the history of the sport just like they did bill clinton for his affair. [ buzzer ] >> stephanie: bad analogy. he said he saw the former president's rehabilitation as a model for his own and in a decade, he will be back on top again. he said clinton is a hero. he wants to copy him and become president of the world. yes, well, you see -- president clinton has done a lot of things that make minimum seen as president of the world. >> hal: more like an

ambassador to the world. here's the thing with lance armstrong. i actually am thankful that he did what he did to himself because arguably, that's the best form of drug testing you can come up with. instead of picking a bunch of people in a double blind study and seeing if the drugs improve let them test -- you lose a testicle. we're not taking those drugs anymore. try a different plan. >> stephanie: he denied being a bully. he was defiant and bragged about having his own constituency as if he were already on the campaign trail. >> hal: wow! >> stephanie: he did bully people and intimidated them. that's the other part of the story. >> someone likes himself a little too much. >> stephanie: very pleased with himself. okay. 45 minutes after the hour. back with the remaining moments of hump days with hal on "the stephanie miller show." >> what in the name of holy hell is going on here? >> announcer: it's "the stephanie miller show." thinking.

>>ok, so there's wiggle room in the ten commandments, that's what you're saying. you would rather deal with ahmadinejad than me. >>absolutely. >> and so would mitt romney. (vo) she's joy behar. >>and the best part is that current will let me say anything. what the hell were they thinking? [ male announcer ] ah... retirement. sit back, relax, pull out the paper and what? another article that says investors could lose tens of thousands of dollars in hidden fees on their 401(k)s?! seriously? seriously. you don't believe it? search it. "401(k) hidden fees." then go to e-trade and roll over your old 401(k)s to a new e-trade retirement account. we have every type of retirement account. none of them charge annual fees and all of them offer low cost investments. why? because we're not your typical wall street firm that's why. so you keep more of your money.

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>> announcer: stephanie miller. ♪ i want this party started right ♪ ♪ i want this party started quickly ♪ ♪ here we go ♪ ♪ yo, yo, here we go ♪ ♪ freak out ♪ >> stephanie: little extra for the ladies watching the tv. >> hal: that was strictly comedy dancing. if you're enticed by that, i'm concerned. >> stephanie: i was. this hour brought to you by go to my pc. access your entire work computer

from your smart phone or tablet. >> i remember -- irma gird. >> stephanie: go to my pc mobile apps are amazing. try go to my pc free for 45 days. visit gotomypc.com. click on the try it free button. we're on vacation next week. >> hal will be sitting in for us all week long. >> stephanie: jacki schechner will be live in captain america's underpants with hal all week. >> hal: absolutely. i will be wearing captain america's underpants. >> will you be dancing like you just did? >> hal: no. jacki is around. i will kick it up a notch. i will do the actual real sexy dance as opposed to the steve martinnesque dancing. >> stephanie: love letter from river. steph, et al. some days you're panel staff.

>> hal: isn't it good to be and whoever. >> and the rest. >> stephanie: steph and like it matters. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: 2012 was an amazing year for me and my partner. first we were honored to attend the meet and greet at the sexy liberal in columbus in september. irma gird. my partner bought tickets as a ten-year anniversary present. i work on the obama re-election campaign and for my hard work, i was honored to meet the president. omg, what an amazing day. almost as great as meeting you. p.o.t.u.s. [ whatever! ] >> stephanie: in december, my partner was able to get a hip replacement thanks to obamacare. her care was outstanding. insurance paid 85% of her cost. please tell people that obamacare is working! >> hooray! >> what about your voucher? >> stephanie: you know what

you should do with that sexy new hip? ♪ home sweet home, chicago ♪ >> you say once isn't enough? >> 15 is my limit. >> stephanie miller's sexy liberal comedy tour is making a return visit on april 13th to the chicago theatre. >>ness witness john fuglesang hilarious heartthrob hal sparks and catholic girl gone wild stephanie miller as they reunite for another night of inspired comedy. >> putting the band back together. we're on a mission from god. >> tickets are available at ticketmaster.com. come see the tour that sparked a number one comedy album and its own tv documentary. it is more fun than a bag of vipers. >> we're just packaging what the kids want. >> that's the sexy liberal comedy tour at the chicago theatre on april 13th. sweet home, chicago is about to get more sugar from mama. ♪ sweet home chicago ♪

>> who can argue with a bag of glass. >> fantastic. >> all four of us have lived there. >> i won the funniest teenager in chicago restaurant at ditka's. >> tony bennett was there. >> my first real film job before i actually acted -- jab i did an after school special. what i got paid to do was an extra in a midway airlines ad with mike ditka. >> wow! >> stephanie: how totes adorbs is that! >> who is the guy behind ditka? >> i have an e-mail from a listener. please stop sexually harassing stephanie. it shouldn't be allowed just because she's gay. i never hear anyone harassing jim and chris. >> stephanie: oh i do. >> your commends would not fly in other places. she should file suit against you too. >> stephanie: i will get on it. travis, get my lawyer.

oh i don't have one. sorry. >> but you do have a spectacular action ss. >> stephanie: thank you. why, i ought to sue you! >> hal: sexual harassment is a little hard -- it could work up the chain but it is a little harder. >> your job is in danger if you don't put up. >> you're my employee. >> oh, i'm fired. i'll clear out my desk. >> stephanie: i don't have a desk. bill in new york. >> hal: my locker. >> caller: stephanie in? >> stephanie: yes hello. >> caller: the press the president and the democrats, you know, they don't know how to frame their argument against the republicans, you know in the press when the republicans always think that the democrats want to raise taxes raise taxes. the democrats should be repeating -- they're trying to close loopholes tax breaks known as loopholes. that's not raising taxes.

that's closing loopholes. >> it is semantics. >> stephanie: the president's carney said exactly like that. >> have you looked at the ryan budget? can you find a single item in tax reform? a single loophole closed? $5 trillion. that's a lot of money. not one. >> stephanie: coupon. >> go door-to-door, old lady. i'm having chest pains. i'm sorry we don't take that coupon. i'm having chest pains. two doors down and up the flight of stairs. >> stephanie: stop looking at smoke. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] dennis rodman is on it. >> oh, thank god. >> fresh from his summit in north korea. >> that worked out so well. they declared war against us. >> stephanie: shut the front door. really? is setting his sights on fixing the pesky problems plaguing the

church. rodman is jetting to rome. that's the funniest part, rodman has people in rome. okay. have been in touch with the vatican and they're trying to arrange a sit-down with whoever the next guy is. dennis said i want to be anywhere in the world that i'm needed. you're not needed anywhere but thanks for -- why is he suddenly -- >> first of all -- >> he pops up like jimmy carter. >> stephanie: so random. >> hal: i'm 100% fine with that. exporting weird is one of our untapped resources. we have a lot of interesting weird individuals in this country. >> stephanie: it is just weird. [ applause ] >> hal: they were watching the harlem globetrotters. that's where dennis rodman and kim jong-un were watching the harlem globetrotters together. >> stephanie: hal sparks, funniest teenager in chicago. [ ♪ "world news tonight" ♪ ] >> still have the shirt